How to Attract Men as a Shy Woman
When it comes to modern-day relationships, shy women are often the ones who remain dateless. How do I know this? Well, I happen to be a very shy person. And during most of my college and high school years, I remained dateless. The only exception was a boyfriend I had for two months. I was really into horse riding when I was younger, and I met him at the stables. He wasn’t a rider at all, he was the son of the administrator in charge of stuff like ordering the food, negotiating land rights with the neighbours, paying the horse insurance and all the other stuff that really has little to do with horses. He did something to anoy his dad, so he was forced to spend 3 hours sorting out the horse dung whilst I was grooming the horse. If it wasn’t for being forced into a space together for a set amount there is no way we would have gotten together. I clung to him like crazy because I feared no one else would want me. Consequently, I got dumped and wouldn’t date again until 2 years later.
But now, after having gone on many dates, (often with a lot of losers), I found my Prince Charming. And I didn’t have to sacrifice my personality or become Cindy Crawford in order to get him. Ultimately, I was able to remain myself, even if I didn’t have the personality or the body of a hot model.
With that being said, how was I able to emerge from being a dateless waif to a happily married woman? First, I decided to go against society’s perceptions and try online dating. So, I put up a profile, (making sure to include my pic). And the next day I got over 20 responses, from men of all demographics.
I continued doing this until I found my husband. Of course, going through the process wasn’t always easy, since 95% of the guys just wanted one night stands. But there was the 5% that wanted something more. And if I hadn’t done online dating, I would’ve never found even the 5%, (which my husband was a part of).
However, I want to stress that online dating will only get you so far as a shy woman and usually starts with email marketing your qualities slowly. You must also try and fix yourself up to hold their interest. This process is a little easier if you’re naturally attractive. But if you’re not, don’t worry. Instead, concentrate on fixing up your hair and putting on makeup. Also, try to put on a fashionable, feminine outfit, (like a red dress). True, it may not sound very PC, but men do respond to red, as it’s seen as a very sensual color.
As far as the dating itself, try to put your best foot forward. Don’t gossip, whine or complain about things as this is a turnoff when men are first getting to know a woman. Wait until you have developed more of a relationship before you start expressing deeper feelings or concerns.
Again, I know this isn’t very PC, but during the first few months of a dating relationship, men and women are looking to have fun. If a date appears to have a lot of problems, a person may not want to continue things, (even if their feelings are subconscious). So, try to avoid that by starting things off with lighter, more entertaining conversations.
In terms of sex, use your own judgment here. If a man has genuinely fallen in love with you, sex will only strengthen your relationship, (even if it happened early). On the other hand, if his feelings aren’t that strong, it could be used as an excuse for him to abandon the relationship. So just keep that in mind if things get hot and heavy during your first few dates.
Note: remember that it is unlikely to work out first time, and that isn’t your fault, its the law of probability. I was stung by my first boyfriend in the stables, and I didn’t realise that actually it didn’t matter. I should have just moved straight on. When you’re young you feel bad. When you are an adult there are suddenly all sorts of crazy things you can end up doing in order to “fix” yourself. Don’t be rash - there is no need to run out and have cosmetic surgery or anything like that in order to make your self more “beautiful”. You are already beautiful as you are, the reason it didn’t work out, is because it didn’t, nothing more.
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